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Bren |
| Summer contests...to compete, or not to compete?...that is the question! |
| 04.24.2011 12:05:27 | |
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Hi everyone! I'm writing this from the balcony of the beautiful Ocean Lodge hotel in Cannon Beach, Oregon. I took the 4 hour drive to come here for some much needed rest and just to have time to think about things without distractions from home. It turns out it was one of the best things I could have done. I got a great oceanfront room and the whole weekend turned out to be sunny! I enjoyed watching a breathtaking sunset and then later saw an incredible display of stars in the night sky. I've done nothing but sleep, read, relax, walk for miles on the beach and just sit and think.
I've been attempting to bring balance into my life and this weekend was a good example of how I'm learning to listen to what I need physically, emotionally and spiritually. I was only going to stay overnight, but as I entered the hotel, I felt I needed to stay the whole weekend instead. I needed physical rest, especially sleep...and I needed some time to connect with nature and clear my head. So, here I am.
I've been trying to decide if I want to do bodybuilding competitions this summer, or wait until the fall. I've been training and eating right....but my head hasn't really been in it. Last year at this time I was so focused on preparing for the Ironman, but this year I seem to not be pushing as hard. I know I want to do the Ironman the end of September and I have plenty of time to train, work on my routine and work on a mixed pair routine for that show. However, the summer shows are right around the corner and I'm just not sure about whether I want to compete or not. I really love bodybuilding. I like to lift, eat healthy so I feel my best, and I'm even tolerating cardio. If I decide to do the summer shows, I know what has to be done....double cardio,...everyday! You can probably imagine I'm not too excited about that! So, I haven't come to any definite decisions yet, but time is ticking away and I need to make up my mind soon.
Right now, I want to nurture the relationships I have with the people in my life that I love, and that requires time spent with them. That really is the only real important thing in life...the relationships we have with those we love. Bodybuilding takes up a lot of time as well, however, I realize that bodybuilding helps in so many areas other than just improving your physique. It develops mental discipline to do what you may not want to do at times...double cardio, for instance! It requires learning how to push past the barriers of what you think you can do physically. It increases self esteem, knowing that you did what it takes to achieve the goals you set for yourself. However, the down side is that it also involves sacrifice. It's the sacrifice part I'm having a hard time dealing with. I can spend hours lifting, doing cardio, developing routines, and preparing my foods...but something has to suffer. There is not enough time in the day for everything and everybody. I want to devote the time for competition prep, but I want to spend time with the people I love too. How does that work? I haven't figured it out yet! I am thankful that the people closest to me have either adopted the bodybuilding lifestyle, or they understand my passion.
So the question I keep coming back to is... to compete or not to compete this summer? I will continue to train and diet, but I want to enjoy every second life has to offer with those I'm fortunate to have in my life. I love the gym, but I also want to have fun this summer. I'll keep ya posted!
Think On It:
Do what makes you happy....
Bren ~
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| Listen to the Body...it really does speak to us! |
| 03.21.2011 11:06:56 | |
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Hey Everybody...yes, I'm still attempting to write about my fitness goals, even though I've taken an extended break from blogging. I've been putting off blogging because I don't feel I have much to say right now, but I did want to check in with everyone and let you know how things are going. I'm back to lifting heavy in the gym and doing cardio. Nutrition has been good for the most part, but more relaxed than contest dieting. Like I said in an earlier blog, I would like this year to be a bit more balanced than last year. I'm really beginning to listen to my body, and give it what it needs, be it water, healthy food, a good sweat, sleep or just relaxing and doing nothing! I am beginning to tighten up the diet a bit more though, as the weeks draw closer to the summer competitions.
Cardio is consistant with an hour a day. Eating my same foods as before....egg whites and oats for breakfast, tilapia, chicken or turkey, broccoli and rice or sweet potato for lunch and the same for dinner...minus the starchy carbs. Lifting has been good. I'm lifting as heavy as I can, however, since having surgery and not lifting for over 8 weeks, I cannot lift as heavy as before. It doesn't matter to me the total weight I lift, only that I'm pushing myself to lift as heavy as I can and increase in either weight or reps each week. I no longer compare myself to anyone else, and how much they lift....I just concentrate on what I need to push myself to be the best I can be.
Still working on the sleep. I don't get as much as I'd like on the weekdays, but I catch up on the weekends. That's not optimum for recovery I know, but I'm working on it.
I plan on competing this summer still...if all goes well. I say if all goes well, since we never know what life throws at us. Just a few weeks ago I went snowboarding. I felt great all day, pushed myself hard and boarded better than I ever have. 4 days later I did legs. 2 days after my leg workout I started to get a twinge in my knee. I didn't know what that was all about, and I just shook it off and went snowboarding again the next day. Bad choice! I should have listened to my body. By the 4th run down the mountain, my knee was talking to me...saying something about how stupid I was to go snowboarding, when in the back of my mind I knew I shouldn't! I was on crutches for a bit just to give it a rest. So, because I didn't listen to my body, I didn't get my leg workout in the next week...and every workout counts!
These days I'm more focused on getting in the gym, getting my work done, and getting out. No more hours in the gym wasting time. Dave would be so proud! I now have a great workout partner that helps keep me focused, and am thankful for his dedication and determination, which inspires me to do my best!
Life is better than it has ever been for me. I'm so thankful for all I've been given, and am happy to be so healthy. I'm looking forward to seeing what life has ahead for me this coming year!
Think on it:
Strive to be the best YOU can be!
Bren ~
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| The Best Time of My Life |
| 01.31.2011 08:36:08 | |
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Livin' the Dream Part 2 - The Best Time of My Life Hello everyone! I'm back after an extended absence from blogging. I took a couple of months off. I've had a lot going on and at the same time, nothing going on. Let me explain. For those of you that haven't followed my journey from fat to fit, I'll catch you up quickly. At 47 years old, I wasn't athletic, I was extremely overweight and very unhappy. I turned that all around, when I decided I was sick and tired of being fat. I made a vow to myself that I would dedicate a year to getting in shape, with a goal to compete in the 2010 Ironman Bodybuilding competition. With the help of my trainer, Dave Patterson of PTS in Tacoma, I learned how to work out and eat right, to accomplish my goal of losing 95 pounds and compete onstage as a bodybuilder. The year 2010 was crazy for me! I had a lot of challenges to overcome, but I did what I set out to do. I changed my lifestyle habits, and in doing so I changed my life. Dave helped to change my mindset from that of a middle aged woman that always wanted to do a bodybuilding competition, to that of a competitive athlete striving to do my personal best at each cardio and workout session.
After losing 95 pounds I had a lot of loose skin, especially around my abs. I consulted a cosmetic surgeon who agreed what was leftover was excess skin that wouldn't go away on it's own. So here I was, 47 years old, feeling so good about what I had accomplished in the last year, yet feeling disappointed in the resulting look of my body. I felt young and athletic, but my body portrayed something different, and it really wasn't very attractive. If you've ever watched the Biggest Loser on TV, you've seen how the contestants have a lot of excess skin after a huge weight loss, that just hangs from their bodies. I didn't want that. My Father was so proud of me for losing 95 pounds and getting healthy, that he made it possible for me to have cosmetic surgery to remove the excess skin. Without his generous gift, I never would have been able to afford the surgery. I will be forever grateful to him for changing my life for the better.
So what did I get done? Some people are very private and secretive about getting cosmetic work done. It doesn't bother me to tell others, because I believe we can all benefit from the knowledge and experience of others. I had a tummy tuck and breast lift with small augmentation done. I have to say the tummy tuck was by far, the most painful thing I have ever endured. It was excruciating, but I made it through, and it's the best thing I've ever done! The augmentation was super easy...slight discomfort for a few days, but no real pain. The surgery has brought together what I feel like on the inside and what I look like on the outside. I like what I see in the mirror. I still have lots of other areas that I'd like to improve upon..what bodybuilder or athlete doesn't have something they are working to improve upon, right?
I think about how far I've come in the past year...I've transformed from being fat and out of shape, utterly and completely hopeless of ever looking or feeling good,...to being fit and in shape, and feeling confident about who I am now. I'm finally the person I've always wanted to be! I'm happy, feeling good both mentally and physically and am healthy. So last year was crazy, but right now there is nothing going on....and that's why I haven't blogged. Not much to say. I couldn't do cardio for 4 weeks and can't lift for 6 weeks. I'm just now getting back to cardio, and am happy to say even after 4 weeks off, I'm right where I was before my surgery. I'm rockin' it on the Step Mill, Elliptical and Spin Bike just like I didn't even take any time off! That's really good news. I've only gained 5 pounds, but that's deceptive! Since I can't lift, my muscles have atrophied a bit. Very hard to watch happen! However, I know it's only a matter of time before they start to "pop" again! During my recovery, I relaxed my diet quite a bit, which added to my 'softness'. I'm back in the game now, tightened up my diet...and only one more week until I can lift again!
This really is the best time of my life! I have never been in a better place than I am now, and never been as happy as I am now. The old saying, you can't love others until you can love yourself is true! I have developed so many friendships since adopting the fitness lifestyle, and am so thankful for them. Sometimes I slip back into my old thoughts of I'm not worthy of receiving so many blessings. IFBB Pro bodybuilder Nicole Berg put a quote on her FB page..."Once you forget what you're worth, you forget what you deserve. ~Unknown". It's so true! There is no better feeling than having a strong, lean body. Life is easier all around. It's easier to move. I like to move and play like a kid again! It's fun to be fit! I'll be the first to admit it's not easy to eat healthy, lift hard and endure hours of cardio....it's hard work, but it pays off in so many more ways than just looking nice.
In a week, I'll be able to start lifting light and building back up to heavy lifts. I'm not sure exactly what competitions I will be doing this year. I'd like to do some summer shows if I can get to where I need to be by then... but I'll be at the Ironman for sure! Right now I've made a goal to spend some "Quality time" on the Step Mill, to build up my endurance to compete in The Big Climb, a timed run up 69 flights of stairs, 1,311 steps and 788 vertical elevation inside the Columbia Tower in Seattle. I'll be competing along side my 23 year old son, Ryan. I can't even put into words how happy I am to be able to make a memory with my son, doing the climb together. A year ago, I couldn't even walk up a flight of stairs in my house without being so winded and feeling my pulse skyrocket as I crested the top of the stairs. Now I will be racing up 69 flights of stairs.....way behind my son of course, lol, but we're doing it together! Ryan is also training to compete in the Cour de Alene Ironman, which I'm so proud of his dedication and determination to train intensely for a triathlon. My youngest son, Jeffrey, is 21 and we are in a competition to see who can get a 6 pack first! He's asking all the right questions,...what to eat , how to workout, how much cardio etc. He's working with a personal trainer in his college gym. We are having fun trying to see who can get a 6 pack first, but at the same time he is slowly learning the bodybuilding lifestyle which will benefit him the rest of his life. I'm forever thankful to my trainer Dave, for imparting his knowledge upon me, and now I'm able to influence my sons' lives towards fitness, as well.
This next year will be about balance in my life. Balance in work, friendships, love and fitness. I'm incorporating yoga for flexibility, and doing a cardio dance class once a week to just have fun! I'm mixing up cardio to keep it interesting as well.
A big shout out to my trainer Dave, to thank him for his influence in getting my story of transformation on the cover of Parrillo Performance magazine. I can now say I've been on the cover of a magazine! Sweet! You can read it online. Check it out...www.Parrillo.com. Click on 'Performance Press' and you will see a thumbnail pic of the January 2011 edition of the magazine online. Also, congrats to Dave on his latest cover story, the February 2011 issue....Awesome story and pic of him in his Gladiator costume...(You had an awesome photographer for that shot Dave, LOL)
Think on It:
You're never to old to get in shape. Believe in yourself! You are capable of doing so much more than you think you can.
Bren
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| The Days after the Ironman... |
| 11.25.2010 03:33:20 | |
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When you achieve one goal...it's time to set another!
  Hello....I don't even know how life got soooo busy, but I wanted to finish up part 2 of what happened after the Ironman, blog a bit about the next 2 competitions I did and where I'm at today!
Okay, so, what did I do after the show? I ATE! Probably a half of extra large pizza! My oldest son, Ryan, and my youngest son, Jeffrey, and his girlfriend, Amanda, were celebrating with me. They warned me to slow down and not eat so much or I'd get sick. I didn't listen to them...I just kept eating! I was amazed I never got sick! Then I moved on to sharing some ice cream with my friend Sherri, who competed in the figure division and took 2nd place in her class! I went to bed with a full tummy, and slept like a baby!
I started cardio the Monday following the competition, but decided I needed some more time off lifting to rest up a bit, so I took a week off. I loved every minute of the competition...the training, the hunger of peak week, the tanning, wearing my beautiful suit that Christie Skelton created for me and the camaraderie of all the competitors! What I enjoyed most of all though, is the feeling I got from knowing that I had set goal a year ago, to do a bodybuilding competition, and I achieved that goal. I worked hard over the last year training, lifting heavier than I ever have before...thanks to Dave, and lots of cardio. I finally realized the importance of nutrition...the right foods, in the right amounts, at the right times, which made a huge difference in my progress when I got serious about eating like a bodybuilder.
So, where do I go from here? Dave said there are a lot of people that are "One, and Dones"... meaning they do one competition to say they did it, and never step foot onstage again. I knew when I started getting closer to the show, that I was going to compete again after the Iron Man. So, next on my list was to compete in the first ever Iron Mountain in Wenatchee, then onto the NW Championships in Olympia as well, to finish the season.
Since this was my first year at competing, I didn't know how important it was to ease back into replacing carbs after severe carb depletion. After the Ironman, I ate, and ate, and ate. I didn't realize my body was soaking up all the carbs, sodium and fat like a little sponge. So, you can only imagine what happened. I had 4 weeks in between the Ironman and the Iron Mountain. I should have dialed into the Iron Mountain looking better than the Ironman. Well, sadly, I ate so much that as I got closer to the show, my suit didn't even fit. I had taken a break from my weekly sessions with Dave. When I did meet up with him a week before the Iron Mountain, he just shook his head and asked what had happened. I told him....I ate and didn't stop eating for a couple of weeks. I asked Dave if I should just bag the show. He said no, that I needed to do the show...and feel the emotion of standing onstage, not in good condition. He wanted to teach me that when I look to my left, and look to my right, and see my fellow competitors, I should be able to say to myself that I did everything that I needed to
do. We both knew I didn't put as much effort into preparing for the Iron
Mountain. It showed in my lack of conditioning. I was mad at myself for not doing my best. For some reason, I just thought I could coast into the competition without putting in the effort I had been doing to prepare for the Ironman. I was wrong. Dave taught me a lesson...and it was humbling. I got onstage out of shape. I didn't feel good about myself. I realize that if I'm going to say I'll do a show, then I dang well better give it my all, or don't do it at all. Dave had to do damage control with me...but once again time was not on my side. I cringe when I see pictures of myself at the Iron Mountain.
The next competition was in 2 weeks, the NW Championships in Olympia. I needed to drop the layer of bodyfat, so Dave took almost all carbs out of my diet for 2 weeks. Hard, but necessary. I came into this show with a better look than before. I managed to look ok. I was happy with myself this time around, since for 2 weeks I did everything I needed to do. Dave was happier with my look, but once again, he said I needed to come in leaner...I just ran out of time. So before you think Dave is being hard on me...realize that he's trying to get the point across to me, of the level of conditioning needed to compete. In my head, I "see" myself as a whole lot leaner than I was a year ago. I am leaner. I guess I thought that level of leanness was good. For everyday fitness, it is good. However, that level of leanness doesn't equate to the level of conditioning that is needed, to come in with a great look as a competitor.
I learned a lot along the way. Some things I knew already and just needed a reminder. Some things I had to learn the hard way. Many times I didn't eat right or train hard enough. I skipped a lot of cardio sessions. I didn't realize the importance of sleep to help my muscles grow. I did not fail, but found many things that did not work. I believe that is a quote, although I don't know who said it. Unfortunately, all of my lessons learned came at a price. I didn't come into the shows as lean as I, or Dave, would have hoped for. I ran out of time. I lost 90+ pounds and came in with an acceptable look...and I'm proud of my accomplishments, however, both Dave and I know I can do better. I'm not beating myself up, I just want to be the best I can be, and bodybuilding is a journey. I can't wait to continue on this journey!
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My hope is that I live up to my award as an "Inspiration" to someone that has given up hope of ever getting fit. It's possible, I'm living proof. It takes determination to do what is necessary, despite obstacles. It takes dedication to sacrifice things that you want to do. It also takes consistency...training, eating and getting enough sleep every single day..not just catching up on sleep on the weekends. I struggle with getting enough sleep more than anything.
So where do I go from here? Well, I plan on getting back onstage next year. I'll be having some surgery done that will set my training back at least 6-8 weeks before I can lift light...and it will be even more time before I can lift heavy again. I wanted to get onstage at the Vancouver Naturals in April, but it's highly doubtful that it will happen. I found a great guy to do a mixed pairs routine with, as soon as I'm ready to get back onstage. I'm so excited to do a couples routine! I keep thinking of how important it is to match up well, physique wise, for mixed pairs. He has an awesome physique and I know if I want to hang with him, I'm going to need to be in my best shape ever. That alone is keeping me focused on eating clean so I stay as lean as I can. So I have achieved one goal...now it's time to set another. My goal....1st place in Mixed Pairs...look out Dave...I'm coming after your title! lol
Finally, in no particular order, I would like to acknowledge all the wonderful people who entered my life and have supported me in one way or another, in my goal to become a bodybuilder.
I'd like to thank my best friend, and first college professor, Janet Guenther, for teaching me about nutrition and weight lifting and getting me interested in bodybuilding! Not only did you teach, but you showed me by your example of how to live a healthy, fit lifestyle. It took a "few" years to finally sink in...I'm kinda slow that way, but you are first and foremost why I have the muscles that I'm so dang proud of! lol. Thank you.
Dave Patterson, trainer extraordinaire...my "Air traffic controller",...you got me to my destination, and we landed the plane without crashing! lol. I like your style of coaching...it works for me... I couldn't have asked for a more knowledgeable and intuitive Coach. Thank you for knowing when to push me and when to cut me some slack! (although, maybe a little more slack next go around, huh? I'm juss sayin'...) Thank you, and I look forward to bringing my best and representing team Buffed Bods next year.
Brad, Elaine and the incredibly hard working staff, I'm honored to have been able to stand on the Iron Man stage for my first competiton. It was the Iron Man that inspired me to work so hard. It was a class act all the way, and I will always remember IM 2010! Thank you all for putting on such a great show each year! A big "Thank you" to Elaine for always making me feel so wonderful about myself. You are a beautiful woman inside and out and thanks for going way out of your way, to make my first competiton so wonderful!
I hate to name everyone, because I'm afraid to leave someone out...but here goes.. (no particuliar order...I'd alphabetize...but I don't have the energy to do that) Thank you to all my friends and family, who were there for me when I needed you...Ryan, Jeffrey, Amanda, Mom, Lee, Dad, Kathy, Julie, Diane, Rose, Lindsey, Niki, Anastasiya, Zoe, Caroline, Christie ("suit maker extraordinaire"), Mark, James, Claire, Ursula, Bob ("Hubby"), Sherri and Michael, Susan, Barb, Tiny, Emil, Marisa, Carie, Marie, Paul, Mitch and Chaz. Each and every one of you helped more than you will ever know! Forgive me if I left anyone out.
Think On It:
When you achieve one goal...it's time to set another!
Here are my "Before" pictures at 230 lbs, and my after pictures at 135 lbs. There is a picture of Elaine Craig as she is presenting the Most Inspiration award to me, and some pics of my trainer, Dave, and I. There is a picture of Dave, me and Janet Guenther standing together, that was taken backstage at the 2009 Ironman. That was the picture that changed my life. A year later at the 2010 Ironman I was standing in between them again....this time as a competitior!
     
Thank you Brad and Elaine Craig, for the opportunity to share my hopes, dreams, successes and failures along the way. I appreciate you allowing me to blog about whatever I wanted to. By blogging, it helped me think about the process and ultimately helped me in achieving my goals! Tags: |
2010 Livin' the Dream. The journey is just beginning Stay tuned for more!| Livin' The Dream - Part 1 |
| 10.17.2010 00:29:33 | |
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Hey everyone,,,yes, I'm still alive! I survived my first bodybuilding competition! I know, I know....it's been over 2 weeks since I blogged! Sorry to leave you hangin'....everything went so fast the last few days leading up to the competition...my head was spinning. (oh, maybe my head was spinning from the lack of carbs!) So here's a recap of everything I can remember!
"Peak week" was absolutely crazy-busy. I'm glad my boss was very generous, and allowed me to take the week before the competition off. Sunday through Wed night I water loaded. Thursday I cut the water more than half, and cut even more out on Friday. Dave never carb loaded me like some people get to...I've realized I'm very sensitive to carbs, so guess what? I didn't get to "load" until the night before the show when I got some yams in the evening (1 oz more than normal...whoo hooo!).
I really didn't have any extra time to blog. Friday I was busy with check in, ordering pictures, getting the tan painted on, makeup all ready for the morning and checking my look all the time. I had my friend, Anastasiya, helping me with tan and makeup application. I'm very grateful she agreed to help at my first show, as it took all the pressure off me. We got 2 or 3 coats of the tan on and went to bed.
Saturday, I WAS LIVIN' THE DREAM! The day I had prepared a whole year for had finally arrived. I got up in the morning put another 1 or 2 coats of tan on (I can't remember exactly how many coats of tan product we put on, everything was a blur)...ate some oatmeal and drove to the venue. I was so happy to walk backstage. I had been backstage helping my friend, Janet, at many shows, but this time I was backstage as a competitor! What an awesome feeling!
The time came for me to walk onstage. I know this may be hard to believe, but I wasn't the slightest bit nervous! About a month before the show, I started to get nervous every time I thought about standing onstage in a teeny tiny posing suit, in front of hundreds of people. I had to change my way of thinking about the whole thing. I just reminded myself what so many people kept pointing out to me...that I had lost 90+ pounds in a year, and there aren't that many people that can claim that! So for me, the Iron Man was indeed a celebration of my success! Goal attained!
I did my quarter turns, and mandatories. There were only 3 in my class, so it went quickly. I felt very good about my posing, as Coach Dave had prepared me well. I knew what I was doing out there! The rest of the day, I practiced my routine and just relaxed.
The night show was awesome! I did my routine to Shania Twains', "Man, I Feel Like A Woman", and I did it perfectly! More importantly, I think it was entertaining for the audience, and I had a blast doing it! Again, I wasn't nervous at all. The time came to hand out awards and I received 2nd place. I was a happy girl! My congratulations to Mary Morrison, on a well deserved 1st place!
Brad and Elaine Craig also generously awarded me an absolutely beautiful SWORD for Most Inspirational, in honor of my 90+ pound weight loss! Wow! I was SO surprised when I looked up and saw a sword being presented to me. I'm pretty sure I started crying uncontrollably, onstage...although I don't really remember every detail...I think I was in shock! I never dreamed I would ever have a sword! My son, Jeffrey, made a collage with my photographs as I was losing weight, and he named it "Journey to the Sword". There are no words to describe the feeling I have every time I look at that sword displayed on my fireplace mantle. I'm so grateful, and very honored to have been chosen for the Most Inspirational award. Thank you Brad and Elaine!
So what did I do AFTER the show? Check back tomorrow for Part 2 of Livin' The Dream....
Think On It:
Dreams become a reality, one choice at a time
Bren
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| The Countdown Begins...5 days |
| 09.28.2010 07:43:48 | |
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Hi Everyone!
This is the start of my final week! I can't believe the time is finally here! I'm starting my water loading. Just starting the process of water loading really makes it feel REAL! My dream is finally, REALLY coming true!
I participated in a posing seminar that my trainer, Dave, put on at my gym yesterday. I learned a lot from it. If you ever get a chance to participate in one of his seminars, don't hesitate! It is so worth it! Even though Dave is my Coach, and I already have one on one time with him, I learned a lot from being around the other competitors. I'm feeling more comfortable each day with my posing, thanks to Dave's expertise, and am very happy with my evening routine. I'm trying not to stress...taking in everything, and enjoying the good as well as the bad. I'll never have another first bodybuilding competition experience, so I'm cherishing it to the fullest. I'm so happy that my first show is Brad and Elaine Craigs! They put on the best shows, and make their competitors feel completely comfortable.
I seem to have more energy today than I expected. I'm not sure why, but I'm enjoying it while it lasts! I took the week off work, so that helps a lot with my energy levels! Since I'm not working, I can get all the sleep I need now, which makes a huge difference as well.
So, this week will be full of things to do as I prepare for the show....still working out for the next few days, still doing cardio, practicing 1/4 turns and mandatories, and perfecting my evening routine. Drinking lots of water...and seeing my bathroom in a whole new light, since I'm visiting it so often! Hmmm...one of these days I need to clean my bathroom...yeah right...like I have the desire to do that right now! lol I have to get nails put on, a pedicure, purchase my makeup, tanning, massage....lots of primping so I can look beautiful on my special day. Lots of little things to keep me busy...and my mind spinning.
I feel good mentally though. I'm ready for game day! Bring it on! Physically, I could always be better, but I feel good about the progress I've made in the last year and the transformation of my body that I have created. This Saturday is a celebration of my hard work. I'm not stressing too much...everything that can be done has already been done...I can't change things too much now. It doesn't matter who shows up...the competition has been with myself, and the results are now out of my hands. It's up to the judges now. I just want to have fun and celebrate me! I probably won't make the 100 pound weight loss goal I had hoped to achieve...it's probably going to be just 95 pounds....JUST 95 pounds! HAH! We shall see...when I drop the water, where I weigh in at. Either way, whether it's 95 pounds or 100 pounds, I feel like a winner already, having lost so much weight!
More later...time for my second cardio session and then eating! :)
Think about it
Why stress over things that are out of your control? Easier said than done, I know! But try
Bren
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| Like a Roller Coaster Ride... |
| 09.21.2010 01:14:37 | |
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Hey all... Tags: |
| The Girl in the Mirror |
| 09.13.2010 01:53:50 | |
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Hey everyone...
Ok...time is ticking down...only 3 weeks until the Ironman.
So what's new in my bodybuilding world, you ask? Well, for starters...I'm hurtin'! My joints and muscles are talking...no wait...screaming at me. My body is hating what I'm putting it through right now. Everything seems to ache...a deep ache in the muscles, and the joints hurt A LOT! Lots of little nagging aches and pains that I'm not used to seem to be cropping up each day. Today my hip started screaming at me...I think it was because I did an hour on the stepmill on Friday and then again Saturday. Oh well...I just have to "KEEP DOING...".
The title of my blog is "The Girl in the Mirror" because I look in the mirror now and sometimes I don't recognize myself. I'm much leaner than I was just a few short weeks ago. Sometimes I think I look like a bodybuilder...but sometimes I see my old self. I see the girl I used to be, just a year ago. I see the overweight, unhappy person I was. I often wonder why I can no longer really see myself as others see me. Is it because I spend all day looking in the mirror, looking for the changes in my body? People tell me all the time I'm getting leaner. I know it in my head, and I do see it in the mirror....but sometimes that "Other Girl" is there staring back at me. She's the one I'd like to not see anymore when I look in the mirror. She's the one that says "You'll never make it. You're not good enough to get onstage. You're not lean enough. You don't have as much muscle as you need to have. You're gonna embarrass yourself onstage". I think it's great that I'm getting the mindset of a bodybuilder...always trying to improve upon our physiques. However, I realize after talking with Dave that I need to give myself a bit of a break. This is my FIRST show, and here I am expecting to look like a force to be reckoned with. Lol! I need to give up that thought. I need to remember that I may not look exactly how I want to look...yet...but I've come a LONG way. A 90 pound weight loss is quite an accomplishment that I should be proud of...having muscle definition, that tells the world that I lift weights, and don't sit on the couch eating bon-bons, is something I should be proud of...and eating healthy instead of driving through McDonalds on a daily basis, is something I should be proud of! I am a work in progress...and like the Miley Cirus song says...it's all about the climb!
As I'm contemplating the upcoming Ironman, I realize it should be a CELEBRATION of all that I've accomplished so far. The Ironman is not the end...it's just a stepping stone on my journey towards self-improvement. So, I'm telling that girl in the mirror...the old, out of shape, negative girl to go away...I'm no longer listening to her. I believe in myself...I have come a long way. I know that I'll never be "That force to be reckoned with" onstage...but that won't stop me from trying! Lol
Think On It:
Never, never, never give up on your dreams!
Bren Tags: |
| In The Blink Of An Eye... |
| 09.02.2010 09:29:10 | |
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Ok folks...time is ticking away! The Ironman will be here in a blink of an eye! Am I starting to stress more? You betcha! I realize there is only a few more workouts for each of my bodyparts...but I'm thankful that the end is in sight for double cardio! lol. I'm getting used to double cardio, but just one time a day would be a welcome relief to my aching joints and muscles!
I'm practicing my mandatories and feeling more confident with them. I don't feel quite as goofy when I hit my poses! My routine is a work in progress. Dave and I are seeing how things flow, and may make small changes to it.
My energy levels seem to come and go. One minute I have a lot of energy, the next I'm totally drained. Getting through work today was extremely tough. I actually felt so exhausted I thought I might throw up. I popped a Zip Fizz and carried on. What a trooper....ha ha!
My look varies from day to day. Some days I think I'm looking like a bodybuilder, and other days when I've lost fat but my skin hasn't tightened up yet..I look like a Sharpe` dog, all wrinkles and folds of loose skin! Not a pretty sight!
I continue to struggle with hunger...it seems I'm always hungry! Dave says it's the time to be hungry...my body needs to eat at the fat. So, everytime my tummy growls and it's not time to eat...I just think to myself that I'm getting leaner.
I'm loving the fact that I'm livin' the dream of a bodybuilding lifestyle. It is hard...much harder than I ever imagined. I'm not kidding when I say losing 90 pounds and getting fit is the hardest thing I have ever done. It's so rewarding though, and worth every minute of pain and suffering that have occured so far. I know more pain is yet to come in the next 4 weeks...and to be honest, I'm very nervous about how hard it's going to get. It seems some days I'm so tired, I just try to survive...already. I wonder how it can get any harder, but I know it will.
I want to give a shout out to a new friend, James. He was kind enough to e-mail me to tell me that my blogs inspire him. He plans to do the Ironman for his first competition, and we are bouncing our concerns, frustrations, good things, and bad things off of each other. It's nice to have another first time competitor to talk with. I know when I have the first competition under my belt, the next shows will be a piece of cake, but right now...everything is new, exciting and scary. I'm thankful for James, and his sense of humor that keeps me going throughout each day. We've asked ourselves "What were we thinking when we signed up to flex, in nothing but a teeny tiny suit in front of hundreds of people?" LOL
I'm learning to be more organized, focused and to stay on task. I have a lot to do in a little bit of time each day. There really isn't much time for anything else in my life right now. For now, that's okay. I wonder how I could ever have enough time to be involved in a relationship someday in the future. Not many people are understanding of the commitment that this lifestyle demands to be successful.
Ok, I have to rant just a bit...to be successful at anything you have to give 100%. We all know that. I have been bustin' my glutes in the gym for over a year to get this far. I'm dang proud of the fact I see results from my hard work. What really gets me is all the people that complain to me that they're out of shape and wish they could accomplish what I have...all the while eating something extremely fattening in front of me. Aaauugh! I want to scream... I saw a girl on the horizontal leg press yesterday actually reading a book while she was pressing. OMG! I laughed so hard! Who is she kidding? Does she really think she is going to see results? Our success is a direct result of the effort we put into achieving our goals...whatever they are. I must be getting crankier, because I'm losing my patience with people that whine and complain about how fat they are, yet don't want to suffer a bit to get what they want. I just want to tell people that if I can do it...a 47 year old lady, who was never athletic, who didn't like to be sweaty, who never had confidence, who didn't have dedication or determination..then ANYONE can do it! You are never to old to become better. It's never to late.
Well, that's it for now...shoulders are waiting to be worked hard...gotta go!
Think on it
Time keeps ticking away. As each day goes by, you could be one step closer to your goal, or one step farther away. Think of where you could be in a year from now if you commit today to being the best you can be, and working hard towards your goal. A year will come and go, in a blink of an eye...will you be better next year? You could be...just work hard everyday! It will happen!
Bren
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| Changes |
| 08.25.2010 09:05:41 | |
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Hi everyone! I'm now less than 6 weeks out from the Ironman....5 1/2 to be exact! Time is going fast....but slow. I'm enjoying the process, but I really just want the Ironman to get here already!
Lots of changes are occuring that I thought I'd share with you.
First, I'm getting leaner, but my issue is with my skin integrity. Since I've been overweight a good portion of my life, my skin was stretched out for a long time. I'm not sure if it will snap back or not.
The other changes that are occuring, are that fatigue seems to be setting in. Lifting is getting harder to push up the same weight, and cardio is not fun anymore. I realized I have absolutely no energy during cardio, the last session I did. I usually sing to the music when I work out at home. Not anymore. It's all business. I'm just trying to get through it now.
One other thing I noticed is that I seem to be interested in food more....always thinking about my next meal or snack....and I daydream about carbs!
I don't even have to talk about how tired I am throughout the day, despite how much sleep I get. This past weekend, I layed down at 4 pm to take an hour nap, and woke up at 2 in the morning....disoriented. The questions started in my mind....What day is it? Is it 2 in the morning or afternoon? Is it a work day? I looked out the window and it was dark, so I knew I had slept for 10 hours straight. I had missed dinner. Since it was 2 am I didn't want to eat, as I would be doing cardio in a couple of hours and need to do it on an empty stomach.
My joints are starting to ache a lot. My knees are hurting like they did when I first started double cardio and my body had to adjust to the extra sessions. Wrists, elbows and fingers all just ache.
I'm a little more mellow, mood-wise, as well. It's getting harder to work at my job, since I'm so tired. I don't seem to have as much patience with people either. I just try to get through each day.
I'm working on my routine and that's fun...also practicing my mandatories. I have to admit though, it was easier to practice when I didn't have to, and was just doing it for fun, and also when I had more energy. Holding a mandatory pose is hard work. It takes a lot out of me.
I really didn't expect to feel this way at 6 weeks out. I expected to feel this way around 2 to 4 weeks out. For whatever reason, I totally hit the wall this past weekend. It was a definite change...very obvious to me. Dave didn't pull any more carbs, he just says the changes are partially due to the fact I'm getting leaner. All I know is it sucks! I want to feel good. I'm getting the body that I've always wanted, but I'm too tired to appreciate it! lol
I don't want to seem like I'm complaining. I just want to blog about the changes that I'm experiencing. This has been a year long undertaking for me and it 's coming to a pinnacle. It's gonna happen! Besides, I can't complain...I chose this! It's my choice to go through this. It 's getting hard, and I know it will get even harder. When the women competitors get up onstage, and they look perfect...beautiful hair, makeup, nails, suit...and they are all smiles...what you don't see is the challenges that came before, that had to occur for them to be onstage.
Dave said it's all a mental game at the end. Yep! I gotta agree. All I want to do is go home, crawl between the sheets and sleep. I don't want to go workout, do cardio, practice my mandatories and run through my routine a few times. However, I have to. Not doing it, is not an option any more. Every day counts. Every rep, every minute of cardio, every mandatory pose I practice hard, and every time I run through my routine..... counts!
So I will press on....I keep thinking about the words a fellow competitor, Guy, said to me.."One day at a time, Dixon!" I couldn't agree more.
Think about it:
One day at a time!
Bren
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| Air Traffic Controllers and Crash Landings... |
| 08.16.2010 05:58:53 | |
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Hi Everyone! I said I'd blog more often now that the Ironman is close...and here I am again! The Ironman is less than 7 weeks away! Wow, where does the time go?
The title of my blog today represents the feelings and emotions that I've been experiencing the last couple of weeks. I know it's a strange title for a blog about bodybuilding, but follow along with me, and hopefully I will enlighten you!
Air traffic controllers have a very important job. I don't know much about their job, but I imagine the main goal of an air traffic controller is to bring a plane in for a smooth landing, without any disasters occurring. I was thinking about how my trainer, Dave, is kind of like an air traffic controller. He is directing me each week...what to eat, how much cardio, how to pose, etc., and sitting back, carefully watching me bring my body in. His job is to to pay careful attention to the factors that could potentially be disastrous to me. Since this is his first time coaching me and dialing me in for a competition, there are a lot of unknowns, but he's been doing this for a little while now...lol... so I trust him! I realize that I'm the "Pilot" of this "Plane"...my body,...and I'm listening to Dave bring me in. I have confidence in his abilities to guide me, so that I don't crash land. However, I also realize that I'm the one actually flying the plane, and despite his best guidance, I could still crash the plane if I don't listen to him.
I can see the airport from here...the Ironman stage is very near. I can see the lights. I can hear Kim, the MC, announce my name. I can hear my friends, and family, cheering loudly for me! I can see myself onstage doing my mandatories and evening routine...and I can hear Dave's voice in my head saying..."Just do what you need to do each day...and you'll get there".
I'm not freaked out anymore about whether or not I'll be onstage. I know I'll be onstage. The question I ask myself each day is "How am I gonna look?" Sometimes I feel as if I'm coming in fast...like a plane that is about to crash...wings tipping side to side and dropping altitude quickly. Everything seems to be going in fast forward for me now. Not only am I shopping, cooking and weighing foods, eating every 3 hours, training and 2 hours of cardio daily...but now I'm practicing posing and my routine. I'm also thinking about all the other "stuff" that competition preparation requires as well. Things like...pre-judging and evening suits, putting together a costume for the evening routine, makeup, nails, jewelry, tan...and I can't forget about the foods to pack, for carbing up on the morning of competition!
So, there is a lot of things going on in my little mind these days. I'm questioning whether or not I will have loose skin on my abdomen from losing 85 pounds and counting, or if it will tighten and disappear. I have to deal with the fact that I'm not going to have the super tight skin that the young competitors have. That's ok, for now. I do want my skin to tighten, don't get me wrong...but in some weird way, it's like a badge of honor to me. I went through 2 pregnancies, that gave me my 2 wonderful boys, and I have won the battle with obesity, after being fat for most of my adult life! That being said...I might have to get a little "Nip tuck" in the future, if the skin continues to hang around! I never in my wildest dreams would've imagined that I'd be living in my body the way it looks and feels today! I still have a lot of work to do however, and each show I do, I'll strive to be better than the time before. (Yes, I want to do more shows...Dave says wait and see how I feel throughout this competition before deciding if I want to compete again or not...but I already know I want to!)
Not too many changes in training or nutrition...except for the fact that to get lean, the carbs have to drop a bit. I'm missing my huge bowl of oats...I remember telling Dave a while ago, 3/4 cup of oats was too much..that I felt I didn't need it. What was I thinking?!!! Now, I have to be satisfied with 40 gms...and even that will be cut down more, if not all the way out, I'm sure!
At less than 7 weeks out, I'm nervous, excited, scared...but most of all...happy. I really am "Livin' the Dream" that I've dreamed for so long. The end is in sight...but yet it's not the end...it's just the beginning. Yesterday while I was driving, a song by Tim McGraw titled "It's Your Love" came on the radio. A few of the lines in the song jumped out at me and it brought tears to my eyes. The line that meant the most to me is "Who I am now, is who I wanted to be....I'm stronger than ever, I'm happy and free". That pretty much sums it up for me. I believe the best is yet to come.
So, as I enter into the final weeks...and knowing it's gonna get harder...much harder, I'm thankful for the many friends that are my support system. I really couldn't, and wouldn't want to do this, without the help and encouragement of so many people. My best friend, Janet, will be loaning me her suits...and sewing my costume. That takes a huge load of stress off me! She's super busy right now, but has agreed to help me out, and I'm forever grateful to her for her help. Dave, Julie and Mark have lead by their example of how a bodybuilder lives each day. They've shown me how to keep focused and stay on task. They are my "Tough love" people that cared enough to set me straight when I got off track. Elaine, Lindsey, Rose, Diane, Zoe, Anastasiya, Kathy and Ursula have supported me and are encouraging me in so many ways... I'm so thankful for each one of these wonderful ladies.
Life is Good...but very busy!
Think On It:
Pilots need air traffic controllers to safely land their plane...Competitors have coaches to successfully dial them in for a show! I'm thankful that my coach is there, illuminating my way...
Bren
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| The Mindset of an Athlete |
| 08.09.2010 10:35:38 | |
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Hi everyone! Yes, I'm still alive and kicking! I haven't blogged in forever (sorry Elaine...I'm slacking!) My latest challenge to blogging is a computer that isn't cooperating with me! I think I may have to trade in my MAC for a new PC. The reason I would do that is because, #1 it is obsolete, and #2 my kids understand PCs but not MACs so when I have a problem they could help me. Anyway, for now I will have to blog on my office computer, which means I have to be at the office longer...not fun! So, until I get things squared away with my computer, the blogs will probably be shorter than normal...but I promise to blog more frequently as we are nearing the Ironman...
So what have I been up to the past month? Well, let's see...training with Dave to bring up my delts. Wow, I couldn't believe how fast they improved just lifting heavy! With Dave spotting, I can go heavier than I can by myself and I'm beginning to see definition in my delts. Still working on rear delts which are weak. I'm also working on my back, as it needs to come up as well.
The last month was very challenging for me as I wasn't sure (almost on a daily basis) if I was going to be ready for the Ironman. As I've said previously, I was never an athlete when I was in school. I didn't develop the discipline and focus that being an athlete requires. So, fast forward to my later years...and how do I approach this bodybuilding lifestyle? The only way I know how. Problem is, the only way I know how...wasn't working well for me. I was beginning to freak out, realizing that my dream of being onstage at the Ironman was slowly slipping away from me if I didn't make a change.
So what was I doing wrong? Well, for starters...not eating on schedule like I should. Talking too much in the gym. Yeah, I got my workout done, but it took longer than it should. Not pushing on each and every set...as hard as possible, and not getting enough sleep. Facebook...I've decided it is evil! lol! It sucks me in every night....when I could be sleeping! I also was putting the cart before the horse, so to speak. I was practicing my routine and trying to learn how to pose before I needed to. If I don't have the body to place in the top 5...then there ain't gonna be a routine! My friend Julie ratted me out to Dave...she told him I wasn't focused on my goal. Dave spent a whole training session having a heart to heart talk with me about my reason for doing bodybuilding. Was I doing it for someone other than myself? Was my heart really in it? Did I really want this more than anything? We literally didn't train that day, Dave just talked and I listened. I'm thankful Julie ratted me out...even though I got "in trouble" from my coach...it more than likely kept me in the game!
I'm learning more and more each day about how bodybuilders really live. It's a lifestyle that isn't easy for sure, but very rewarding. I now know the importance of eating the right foods, in the right amounts, at the right times. It's alot more important than I thought. I know the importance of pushing as hard as possible on every rep of every set...until the muscle is on fire! That's when the growth begins. I also know the importance of sleep to repair and grow the muscles, and cardio must be done like you mean it! Every part of the equation needs to be in place to achieve great results. When you hear the saying "Eat, workout, sleep and repeat"...it's true. That's what the bodybuilding lifestlye is all about. Your life revolves around food, training and sleeping. Work, of course, needs to be part of that saying... to pay for all the supplements! lol
I'm now 8 weeks out from the Ironman. The last month I didn't believe in myself. I didn't think it was going to happen. Now I know I'll be onstage. I know this, because Dave said I'll make it if I keep doing what needs to be done each day. I believe in myself now, and realize that the hard part is yet to come. I feel as if I'm getting ready to go to battle. Actually, I am in a way. I will be doing battle with myself. I will soon find out if I have the mental toughness...the mind of an athlete. I will need to stay focused on my goal and push through the hard stuff. Right now I'm feeling pretty good, but I know that's going to change in the next few weeks. In a way, I'm excited to see what I'm made of...can I handle it? Will I do just one show and be done? I don't think so...I want to compete! It keeps me focused on my goals. I know it's going to be hard. Probably the hardest thing I've ever done....but I'm up for the challenge. To date, I've lost 85 pounds. I want to come into the show losing 100 lbs, that's been my goal all along. So I need to lose another 15 pounds in 8 weeks. I'm putting on my blinders...only focusing on the competiton and what needs to be done each day. I feel more focused than ever. I realize that it is only 8 weeks....the time is going to fly by. Each day counts!
Think on it:
The mind of an athlete...focused, disciplined, determined to do what is necessary, to achieve the goals set out before them.
Bren
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| Procrastination, Priorities and Paper Plates... |
| 06.25.2010 07:27:37 | |
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Hey all! It seems like FOREVER since I last blogged! I've been busy with the "stuff" of life...and training, of course!
Today's blog is about procrastination, priorities and paper plates. You're probably wondering how these topics are all connected...well, follow along and I'll explain!
So tomorrow is officially 100 days from the Ironman. Yikes! Those of you that know me...are aware that I'm the queen of procrastination. I don't know why, but I do my best work under time pressure. If I have months to get something done, I'll wait until the last minute possible. I think it's the adrenaline rush I crave. Dave keeps telling me I have plenty of time...and I do have a lot of time, however, I have a lot of fat to burn between now and competition day. I don't have the luxury to procrastinate now. Every day counts. Every meal, every workout, every morning cardio and every evening cardio have to be spot on!
Priorities need to be set. I'm on vacation from work for the next 3 weeks. I'm now able to totally focus on my eating, training and sleeping during my days off. I've not scheduled anything during this time, so that I can concentrate solely on competiton preparation. I'm thankful that I have this time off, and know that I can make great improvements during this time. It's my "ME" time. Dave and I were talking last week during our training session, about how I need to make "me" a priority. I can no longer afford to put others' needs above my training. It's selfish, I know. I have a hard time putting myself above my kids, and my friends, but it's what needs to be done right now. I'm a priority.
Paper plates. What is this about, you ask? Well, I was telling Dave about all that I have to do each day, and how much tupperware I go through to pack my meals. Dishes are always sky high in the sink. Dave just said "Paper plates"...and the light bulb clicked on in my head! Yeah, why haven't I used paper plates? Scoop out food, slap it on a plate, eat and throw away the plate. Just as simple as that! No dishes. Why didn't I think of that? Dave is a smart guy...that's why he's my trainer! :) So, I went to Costco on my way home from his gym and bought disposable, biodegradable plates and bowls, and now life is easier.
I have to say how thankful I am for supportive friends...Dave, Julie, Elaine, Ursula, Lindsey, Diane and Rose. They have all lifted me up and encouraged me, in one way or another. I'm also thankful for my wonderful boys, Ryan and Jeffrey who put up with me. They are the best kids I could ever ask for, and am so thankful for their love.
Life is good for me right now. I'm in a good place. My previous blogs have focused too much on my personal life and the trials I was going through. I needed to write about it though. Thanks for hanging in there with me. I went through the tough times, and I'm a better, stronger and more confident person because of it. I know I have more tough times ahead of me...let's see, there is double cardio, carb depletion, sodium load, dehydration...what else did I forget? I probably don't want to know too far in advance, what lies ahead. lol. I'm just going to have fun. I'm SO excited to do my first show! It is pretty much on my mind at all times. I'm so excited that it will be Brad and Elaine's show. They know how to put on a great competition, that's for sure!
So, I know there are a lot of seasoned competitors out there reading this...but do you remember the feeling you had when you were prepping for your very first competition? I get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it. I'm going to have so much fun with this. I take it seriously, of course...but I want to have FUN, FUN, FUN!
Right now I'm concentrating on my shoulders. I need to build them up. I'm beginning to see muscles slowly emerging...it's very cool! I want the fat off NOW...but it will come off in time. It's funny, a couple of weeks ago, I was so stressed, thinking I might not strip the fat off in time...but now, there is a calmness in me. I've changed my mindset. Dave has said all along, "do what needs to be done each day and don't worry about the rest"...I CAN DO THAT!
Think On It:
Guy Overby sent a message to me the other day. He said "Your first show will always be a bit more special than the others." I can't agree more with that. The Ironman means so much...the fun, the excitement, the stage, the competitors. It's only something I'm dreaming of right now, but soon it'll be a reality! The Ironman will always be MY show...the show where I proved to myself that I could do what it takes to get there!
A side note...ya gotta check out Guy Overbys profile pic on Facebook....it's incredible! (hope I didn't embarrass you Guy...but I'm telling ya, the people need to see that picture of you!!!)
Bren ~ Tags: |
| Opps! |
| 06.02.2010 15:56:41 | |
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Apparently I just deleted my last blog, "A Little Feedback", by accident! Oops! In case your wondering where it went...well, ya got me! I'm sure it's floating around in cyber-space somewhere, but I can't find it! I was responding to a readers' comment, and hit the wrong button! I think it is gone forever! Oh well... A side note for my reader, Susan, that was trying to get in touch with me before I deleted my response to her, by accident. Susan, my e-mail address is This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . Please send me a note...I'd love to get in touch with you. It would be fun to compare notes, since the Ironman will be your first show as well! If anyone else would like to get in touch with me, for whatever reason, please feel free to use the above e-mail address. I will respond as soon as I can... Cardio was off the hook tonight! I usually get on the elliptical and burn about 800 cal per hour, according to the machine. Heart rate is around 150 bpm. Tonight...I rediscovered the wonders of Zipfizz! For some reason, the last two days I have used Zipfizz, I have had great cardio workouts! Tonight, I was on the elliptical for 60 minutes and torched over 1000 calories! It was my personal best workout ever! The only problem is that it's after midnight and I'm writing my blog now, because I'm so pumped from such an awesome workout...I have tons of energy. Too bad I have to get up at 5 am for work. Bummer, gonna be a bit tired tomorrow....but then there's Zipfizz! lol The stuff seems to work for me...good thing Costco sells a big pack of it! So, this coming weekend is 16 weeks out from the Ironman! I know, I know....all you seasoned competitors say that's PLENTY of time! Well, Dave wants me down about another 25 pounds. Yikes! I was 153 today. (I'm 5'6...and used to weight 230 pounds) So, that is just approximately 1.5 pounds per week. Dave is increasing my cardio to 30 minutes in the morning, in addition to my hour of cardio in the evening, 7 days a week 'til showtime! I'm enjoying my last few days of only an hour of cardio per day. It will definitely be a shock to get up at 4 am and start cranking on my spin bike, but I'm thankful to have a piece of equipment in my home that I can hop on, and not have to drive to the gym so early in the morning. I'm not complaining...I will do what needs to be done, just might be a bit more tired until my old body adjusts to what I'm putting it through. I'm starting to listen to songs to see what "grabs" me, for my bodybuilding routine. It's getting fun, knowing in a few short weeks, Dave will be creating a fun routine for me to pose to. I can hardly wait. For me, the posing, practicing my routine and getting my suit, is the icing on the cake! (Hmmm...another mention about cake....I said something about cake in my previous blog...what's up with that? As long as it's cake mix from Parrillo products, then it's all good! Parrillo brownie mix and cookie mixes are keeping me sane right now! They are the perfect "treat"! Ok...time for some shut eye! Sleep is just as important as eating right, working out and bustin' it on cardio! Think On It Next time your doing cardio...do it like you mean it! Bren
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| Lessons Learned |
| 05.24.2010 11:05:45 | |
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Hi everyone! I believe I have an interesting blog today. One that many of you might be familiar with the subject matter. My blog today is on my recent experience with the Hcg diet. Have you heard of it? If not, take a moment to look up Dr. Buff's blog. Dave has done some research, and has written about what he found out about the diet. I'd like to tell you my story involving the Hcg diet. Looking back, I wonder why I did it in the first place, rather than just stay on the plan Dave had me on. I'd have to say that I decided to do the diet because of a co-workers apparent success with the diet. I say apparent, because she is not a bodybuilder, or involved in figure, fitness, or bikini competitions. That was my first mistake. My co-worker wasn't all that overweight, just a little soft. She went on the diet, and within 14 days she had lost 15 pounds. She looked great... in clothes, anyway. I don't know how her skin reacted to losing such a large amount of weight in such a short period of time, and I don't know if her skin is sagging or not. I anxiously awaited her body comp results. I remember thinking she is going to lose alot of muscle. I can't remember exactly what her comp results were, but it was around 13 pounds of weight lost, to 2 pounds of lean muscle. So it got me thinking...what if I just dropped the fat now, at 20 weeks out, then concentrated on building muscle up after the fat is lost? I decided not to run it by Dave...that was my second mistake. I knew he would say to just stick with the plan he had laid out for me. I wanted to try this diet, to see how my body would do, so I decided to do it on my own. What was I thinking? I pay Dave to work with me, to plan all the comp prep and to help get me to where I need to be. Why did I not run this by him?
So this is my experience with the Hcg diet, and I hope it helps someone that may be considering doing this diet. I met with a doctor who did a health history, took measurements, and did a body composition. The doctor then interviewed me as to why I wanted to lose weight. I told her I wanted to do a bodybuilding competition and get very lean. As a doctor, she said she could only advocated going to 21% body fat, but that lots of people chose to continue on with the injections of Hcg to continue to get leaner than that.
I then got a supply of 14 days worth of Hcg. The program has you fat load for the first 2 days. That was a head trip for me. It was so hard to put fattening food in my mouth after I had gone so long without that kind of food. The first day, I forgot to give myself the Hcg shot in the morning, so I had an extra day of fat loading. I felt nauseous, had a stomachache like you would not believe, and diarrhea for 3 days.
The next step is the extreme low calorie phase. I would have a protein shake at 6 am, one at 9 am, a small meal of chicken breast and a handful of veggies at 3 pm and then 6 pm dinner, which was the same as lunch. The day ended with one more protein shake at 9 pm. I could have various meats, but I chose chicken, since I like it the best and am used to it.
The first 3 days, I was starving! I was lightheaded, dizzy and just didn't feel good. I was extremely fatigued. I decided to substitute beef for the chicken and my energy levels improved a bit, but not enough to work out. The first week you are not supposed to workout with weights, but since I'm preparing for the competition, the doctor said I could lift, but I would need to lift light. Part of me thought, why bother to lift light? I concentrated on lifting with lighter weight and more repetitions and really squeezing the muscle I was working. Then I got on the elliptical. Thought I was going to faint and fall right off the machine. I had zero energy. No wonder I was exhausted...I had absolutely no starchy carbs in my diet.
After the first week I called the doctor and said I was starving all day. I was used to eating a huge amount of food before...lots of fibrous veggies, and a little bit of starchy carbs along with my protein and I was very satisfied. However, on this diet, I was hungry all the time. I was given the okay to eat more protein whenever I wanted. That helped alot. I wasn't hungry anymore, but still missed my starchy carbs!
At two weeks I had lost 6 pounds, one of which was muscle. I wasn't able to workout at all, as I just felt terrible. So, two weeks, and I only worked out once. I even missed three days of work, since I felt so bad. The third week I felt a bit better, since I wasn't starving, however I just didn't have the strength I needed to lift heavy.
I was having coffee with my friend and fellow blogger, Julie, and told her how I was doing on this diet. She told me I needed the starchy carbs in my diet to be able to build muscle and that I should tell Dave what I was doing before it was too late. Before the diet, I was concerned that I may not lose the fat, now I was concerned that there may not be enough time to build muscle up! Aaaggghhh! Muscle takes time to build, and you need calories to build it. Julie explained that the cutting part of the competition prep is the easy part...I will be able to lose the fat with double cardio, but the muscle building is the hard part. All I can say, is thankfully Julie prompted me to talk with Dave about it, before I lost all hope of making the Ironman.
I had to tell Dave what I did. That was hard for me, since I really listen to what he tells me, and I follow his plan. I just don't know what got into me. I still don't know why I decided to go off the path, and follow this diet. All I know is that I was scared of not making it up onto the Ironman stage. I know that my body is slow at burning fat, and I wanted to get a step ahead so I didn't have to worry about the fat loss close to the competition date. It hit me when Dave said I was basically trying to shortcut things. At first I thought I wasn't trying a shortcut, but really thinking about it, I realize I was. I was counting on a magic pill, or in the case of this diet, a magic injection. I wanted to just jump ahead of the game. Dave had outlined a good plan of eating the right foods, in the right amounts, at the right times...and I wanted to speed it along faster. What I realized is that the diet will work, but at what cost to me? I quickly found out it was not the right way to prepare for my competition and had to go to Dave and admit that I tried something without consulting him first, and I failed. Dave was very understanding, but reinforced his quote..."There is no easy way to accomplish a hard task."
So, I needed to know how badly this hurt me. Dave did a body comp, and I have lost 13 pounds of fat, and one pound of muscle since my last comp 3 months ago. I can deal with that. What we don't know is how my metabolism has been affected. That, I will find out soon enough. Dave said I have my work cut out for me. I will need to lift heavy, and bump up my cardio to an hour daily for the next three weeks, then we will start adding time at 16 weeks out. I gotta admit I'm not looking forward to that. I love lifting weights, but HATE cardio with a passion. I know, I shouldn't say that, but it's the truth. Can't stand going nowhere fast, on a piece of gym equipment! However, it is what needs to be done, and I'll do it.
I have learned many lessons from this experience. First, I learned I need to be able to talk to Dave, my coach, about anything. It is his job to educate me on things relating to bodybuilding. It is my job to follow his advice. How can I be successful if I'm not doing the work that he has laid out before me? If I would have come to him with this Hcg diet, he would have done the research, informed me about it and I would have realized it is not for bodybuilders, and I wouldn't have gone down that path. I should have talked to him, I know that now.
Second, I learned to stop comparing myself to others. Sure my co-worker lost weight. I don't know how her skin looks though, and she is not preparing for a bodybuilding competition. Bodybuilders strive to put on as much muscle as possible, and this is not the diet for anyone wanting to do that.
Third, I learned to trust myself. Dave explained that my body is like a big Mac truck going up a hill. My metabolism is slow...just creeps along like the Mac truck. But it makes it up the hill at a consistent pace. I don't know why I thought I could change my body into a Ferrari! I'm consistently losing a pound a week. I'm beginning to get to know my body. It surprises me with the changes that are happening to it, and for that, I'm thankful. I don't need to rush the process. Improvement takes time and effort.
Now I'm back on track. I had some wonderful starchy carbs again, and had a great back workout! It's only been 12 hours and my back is SORE! Yay! It feels good to lift heavy again. Still not loving the hour of cardio, compared to 45 min...but I'll get used to it. Just somethin' that's gotta be done if I want to get to where I'm going!
A big thank you to Julie and Dave, for picking me up, turning me around, putting on my super hero cape, and getting me back on my road to the Ironman! You guys are my support and I'm so thankful for you both!
Think On It:
If you are training for an event, in my case a bodybuilding competition, you need to listen to just one person whom you trust. Find that person and follow his or her advice and forget about all the other people saying there is an easier or better way. Focus on the goal, listen to your coach, and believe in yourself that you will succeed!
Bren
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| Somewhere In Between... |
| 05.09.2010 12:23:30 | |
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Hey everyone! I haven't blogged in a while, since I haven't been feeling up to par lately. I haven't been extremely sick, but I'm not really well either! So, like my blog title, I'm somewhere in between! You know the feeling...blah! A week or so ago, I started becoming exhausted all the time...more than normal. I wasn't getting the sleep I needed and my training was starting to suffer. I just didn't have the energy. Things at work were crazy, and I wasn't getting my protein shakes every few hours throughout the day, like I'm used to. Little things were beginning to add up. Stress at work, not enough sleep, falling behind on housework, lack of time doing anything fun, recent break up...blah, blah, blah...and I was getting crabby! I knew I needed to change things in my life. So, I took some time to reflect. I took a step back and focused on things that make me happy. I realized that I wasn't spending any time doing the things I love to do....reading (usually fitness magazines), listening to quiet music, taking walks, riding my motorcycle or my bicycle, and having coffee with friends. My life had become boring and mundane, and a bit of depression was starting to set in.
Earlier in the week, I woke up one morning and as soon as I got out of bed to get ready for work, I felt lightheaded, nauseous and had a terrible stomachache. I'm a dental hygienist and I see 10 patients a day. I don't call in sick to work. I showered and as I was getting dressed I realized that I wouldn't be able to work the way I was feeling. So, I called in sick. At first I felt bad that I called in. I started to second guess myself. Maybe I could push myself. I listened to my body and crawled back into bed. I slept most of the day. The next 2 days, I called in sick as well. I knew that my body was telling me something, and I had not been listening to it lately.
So, I learned it is important to listen to your body when it is trying to tell you something or it will just shut down! My batteries ran out! I didn't train at all this last week. I know it will be ok, and it won't set me back too much. This week I will have more energy since I listened to my body and took some time off, and I can once again hit the weights hard!
As of today, it is exactly 21 weeks until the Ironman. For those of you that compete, I know that sounds like alot of time. For me, it means I have 21 weeks to lose 15 pounds before I get onstage. I know it sounds easy, but I have work to do! I have lost 75 pounds to date, and my work is not done yet. I'm feeling great about my progress so far. I love going into my closet and trying on clothes that I haven't worn for 10 or more years, and finding that they are too big! Yay! I am giving all my "big girl" clothes away, since I will not allow myself to ever be fat again! The feelings I have about my changing body are priceless. I feel normal again!
This week, I learned about balance. It is important to me to concentrate on bodybuilding, and it can be all consuming, but I realized that I needed to have more balance in my life. So, I will do my best to stay on task in the gym and get my chores done efficiently, so I have more "fun" time.
Think On It:
Take care of yourself. Listen to your body. Find balance in your life.
Bren
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| Life Goes On...Part II |
| 04.28.2010 10:31:54 | |
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Hi everyone! If you've been following my blog, the title of today's blog may sound familiar. Life Goes On...Part II. Yep, Deja Vu.
I've been in a new relationship for the last 4 months, which officially ended today. With a sad heart, I decided my desire to compete, is greater than my desire to share my life with another soul. I find that to be sad, but true. You see, the last 6 months I've been focused on one goal...bodybuilding. I want to compete in the Ironman. What does that mean? To me it means doing each day, what needs to be done to achieve the goal I've set for myself. That means spending time shopping and preparing meals, eating on schedule, going to work, going to the gym after work, cardio and lifting for a couple of hours, going home to shower, prepare for the next day and drop into bed tired...no,...exhausted. I'm not complaining, as I've chosen this lifestyle. What I am saying, is that sometimes we sacrifice alot for our passion.
Before I began the relationship, I was completely focused on one thing...preparing for the Ironman. It didn't take long after the relationship started, that I began to slip up on a few things, here and there. Going out to dinner, and eating things not as good as what I could prepare at home, not getting a workout in, and cutting gym time short so I could go out for an evening. Well, little things all add up to alot. I want to see results, and although I am seeing results, I know I can do better. I know when I'm cheating myself.
I was telling my friend Kathy about my recent breakup, and she suggested that maybe I was using the relationship as a way to sabotage my bodybuilding goals. Hmmmm. I asked myself if that was in fact, what I was doing. It might have been, I really don't know. I've been questioning myself everyday, if I have what it takes to really achieve my goal. To get to the gym each day, lift heavy, do cardio, eat clean and repeat. Sometimes I think I can't do it, then I look at how far I've come. 70 pounds lost. I know I'm repeating myself from previous blogs, but I think that there is a really important element in fat loss that is often overlooked... our mind. My coach is probably sick of hearing my doubts and concerns about if I make the show or not. One of these days, he's gonna slap me upside the head! I KNOW that I have what it takes. Each day doing the necessary, and doing it well. I "hear" Dave everyday. I KNOW.... I just have to do what needs to be done. So, why do I doubt? Why do I believe that I wont make it? I need to work on changing my thoughts. What the mind believes, the body achieves. We have all heard that saying before, but it's so true. My mind is fighting with me! It's not believing, and trusting, that all will work out.
So, here's where the sabotage part comes into play. If I choose to be in a relationship, and devote attention to the relationship, and if I don't achieve my goal of competing in the Ironman in October, then in my mind, I have a reason why I didn't achieve success. After all, relationships with the people we love, is the most important thing in the world. But can I have both? Can I have a relationship and still achieve my goals. I know it's possible, many people have relationships and compete. However, for me, being in a relationship, and trying be everything to everybody, proved to be too much. I wasn't doing well at either bodybuilding, or being attentive in my relationship.
So with renewed focus, and telling myself that I can do this, I forge on. I need to prove to myself that I can do anything I set out to do. I don't know if I'll ever be able to be in a relationship while I'm preparing to compete, unless it's with another bodybuilder. Someone who understands the dedication and devotion that's required. When it came to the issue of bodybuilding, I was in a very supportive relationship, but I found that I just didn't have any energy left over, and my relationship came in 2nd place. Sad, but true. Does that make me a shallow person? Maybe. However, for me, at this time in my life, I feel compelled to put all my energy into preparing for the Ironman. It has not been an easy road for me so far. No one said life is easy. I just have to keep on, keepin' on.
So, another failed relationship. Do I feel bad about it? Yes,....but I feel good about myself. I feel good knowing that I will not give up on my goals. I will not let what my mind is telling me, override what my heart wants. I need to develop a mental toughness and these challenging times I seem to keep having, are helping me with that! So, once again...a shout out to my friends, Dave, Kathy, Julie and Elaine, for being there for me when I need y'all! Each one of you are important to me, and I appreciate your friendship more than you will ever know.
Think On It:
Follow your heart
Bren Tags: |
| Time To Crank It Up! |
| 04.19.2010 14:09:54 | |
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Hi everyone, I'm back from a wonderful vacation. I took a little trip to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico for a week to relax and unwind. When I first arrived in Cabo, I was amazed at how beautiful the surroundings of the resort were. Flowers, palm trees, pools, and the gorgeous pacific ocean was what I saw from the lanai of my room. However, I really "lit up" when I saw the fitness center. Wow! Everything I needed was there, and it was all nice equipment and in good condition! I got a great chest workout and an even better back workout in. I did treadmill for cardio one day, and ran stairs for an hour the next. I went to Costco there, and stocked up on chicken, eggs, peppers, broccoli and rice. Everything was perfect, but I realized I was so focused on eating perfect and working out, that I wasn't really having much fun. When I was at the pool, I was thinking about my next meal. When I was relaxing on the lanai, I was thinking about the next workout. I know that's what needs to be done when you are preparing for a competition...training and eating are always on your mind. However, as my trainer Dave has been saying, I have plenty of time. I need to be able to relax and enjoy life, this far out. So, I "heard" Dave's voice, and listened. I relaxed. The rest of the vacation I didn't work out. I didn't worry if I went out to eat. I ENJOYED my vacation. I arrived home late Friday, so I wasn't able to attend the Emerald Cup figure competition. I was bummed that I wasn't able to see my friend Julie onstage. Julie got the tiara that she worked so hard for! Yay! I'm so happy for her. I wish I could've been there to see her face! For those of you who don't know Julie personally, she is an awesome lady, and I'm so fortunate to have become friends with her. If anyone deserves a tiara, it is HER! Congratulations Julie! I did get to go to pre-judging and the evening competition. My friend Kathy competed in the Masters over 50 and took 3rd place! Very impressive, since this was only her second show! It was so fun to watch her shine onstage. She truly looked like she was having fun up there! I was able to help her get ready backstage before the show, and she was just so relaxed, she's a natural competitor! Congratulations, Kathy. Those of you who know who Janet Guenther is, know that she always comes giving her very best. Janet shined onstage. She keeps getting better and better with each competition. Not only did Janet take first place in the Masters over 50, but also Masters Overall. She added yet another sword to her collection. Just a few short years ago, all Janet wanted was to just get one sword. Now, she has many swords decorating her office wall. Not bad for being almost 60 years old. Janet also entertained the crowd with another awesome country routine. Congratulations Janny! What can I say about my trainer, Dave? We all know him, and expect a great show from him. He did not disappoint! Dave rocked the house with an awesome routine....high energy, and lots of fun. Dave came in 4th in a class of great looking guys over 50. Dave also competed with a beautiful lady, Marga, in a mixed pairs routine that was off the hook! If you didn't get to see it, you missed out! It was an awesome routine with a hilarious ending! Congratulations Dave and Marga! I have to say a big THANK YOU to Brad and Elaine Craig for allowing me to go backstage at the Emerald Cup. What an honor! Since I blog for their website, I was given a VIP pass to go backstage anytime I wanted. I felt so important! Brad and Elaine are so accommodating to the competitors, and put on the best shows ever! Not only are the shows organized well, and lots of cool "stuff" is given out to the competitors, but Brad and Elaine are such nice people! Thank you Brad and Elaine, for your hard work and dedication to the sport of bodybuilding. Your shows are truly a class act! So, since my vacation is over, it's time to crank it up! Time to start thinking seriously about the Ironman! Of course, I will still be listening to my trainer, Dave, but I'm feeling the energy to step things up a notch. Vacations are good, they rejuvenate you. The Emerald Cup is always inspiring. I'm amazed at all the beautiful physiques that graced the stage at the EC. As I sat in the audience watching the show, I began to get a little nervous. If all goes as planned, I will be stepping onstage in 24 weeks. I gotta admit, I got a little freaked out just thinking about it. So many eyes will be looking at me. Can I do this? What if I get stage fright? I know that when the time comes, and I'm getting ready to walk out onstage, I will be nervous...no doubt about it. Even long time competitors get a bit nervous going out there. What I do know, is that I want to do this more than anything. It's what I think about each and every day. Now that the Emerald Cup is over, and the competitors are enjoying some well deserved rest, I'm starting to get really excited for the Ironman. It was so fun to be backstage at the EC...to feel the energy of the competitors. Watching people getting tanned, putting on make-up, pumping up...that's exciting to me. Not many people get to go backstage at competitions, I feel very lucky to be able to experience it before I actually compete. Congratulations to all the EC competitors. No matter how you placed in the line up, you are all winners! Now, onto the IRONMAN! Think On It: What would bodybuilding be like, if we weren't blessed by Brad and Elaine's hard work in putting together the Emerald Cup and the Ironman? They promote not only one, but two fantastic shows, the Pacific Northwest wouldn't have if it weren't for them. Take a moment from your busy day, to show your appreciation for Brad and Elaine! Bren
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| Meltdown time! |
| 04.07.2010 09:15:33 | |
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Ok, it finally happened...my meltdown that was destined to occur. Last Friday, I was working out with Kathy at Dave's gym. We were just wrapping up a hard leg workout. On my last set of the hack squat, tears began to fall. Dave looked over at me and asked what was going on. All I could say was, I don't know if I REALLY can do this. I don't know if I have what it takes, to do the hard work that is needed to change my body. I don't know if my body will actually transform enough, for me to be able to step onstage. All these thoughts kept going through my mind. I have told EVERYONE I know...friends, family and even my dental patients at work, about preparing for this bodybuilding competition. I HAVE TO BE ONSTAGE OCTOBER 2ND, 2010 AT THE IRONMAN.
What if I don't achieve my goals? What will I do? I let the little voice inside of me take over. You know the voice. It's the one that says, you can't do this. You're not strong enough. You don't have the determination to succeed. It's never gonna happen. Sure, you've lost weight, but you'll never have the discipline to restrict your carbs, so that you will become as lean as you need to be to step onstage.
WOW! I didn't see that coming! One minute I'm feeling good about myself, the next I'm crying on the hack squat, leaving Dave to wonder if I've completely lost my mind! Part of my emotions could be from watching everyone at the Vancouver show and thinking how great everyone looked. My friend, Kathy, just competed in her first show. I have watched her the past few months, becoming more lean and hard each week. I look in the mirror and see changes, but not as pronounced as I saw in Kathy each week. I know in my mind that she was lean to start with, and I have a lot of fat to lose before I begin to see the wonderful muscles I'm building underneath all that fat. I know it, but knowing it, and feeling the feelings, are different. I talked with Kathy after our workout while we were doing cardio. Actually, I cried, and she patiently listened and encouraged me. Like Dave had said earlier...just do what needs to be done each day...Kathy reminded me that I CAN do this! I just need to take it one day at a time.
I left Dave's gym contemplating why I had a meltdown. Maybe I was tired, stressed or I just allowed the negative thoughts to take hold of my emotions. Whatever the reason, I had to change my mindset. I started thinking about how far I've come...70 pounds in a year. That's a great achievement! However, what's most important to me is HOW I lost the 70 pounds..that's what I'm most proud of. You see, I did it by combining important key elements of successful weight loss: cardio, weightlifting and clean eating. I think about my previous exercise and eating habits and realize just how far I've come. In the past I've only incorporated one or two of the critical componets to sucess. I would diet, or I would work out like a maniac. I didn't do both at the same time. Now, I'm doing all three things and it is working. My kitchen cupboards are no longer filled with boxes full of preservatives. Now, my kitchen is filled with eggs, chicken, oats, rice and veggies. I feel so much better eating these foods. So, I don't mind that I had a meltdown. It allowed me to stop for a moment, and think about how far I've come. It reminded me once again to stop obsessing over what is beyond my control. All I need to do is focus on doing what is necessary each and every day, and then let it go. Give it my all, and that's all I can ask of myself.
Since that day, my workouts have been incredible. I don't think about how far I have to go, I think about the workout I'm doing that day, and that day only. I give it my all. Cardio has me dripping wet with a puddle of sweat under the elliptical machine. Weights have me so sore the next couple of days, I'm reminded every minute of the improvements I'm making. Yes, I have a ways to go, but soon I will be rewarded with an incredible body. When the fat melts off and the muscles start to pop I will be ecstatic!
I guess I was just overwhelmed with how much there is to do. Thanks, Dave and Kathy for reminding me to take it one day at a time!
Think On It:
Remember the age old joke, "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time". Corny, but true.
Only be concerned with today. Tomorrow will take care of itself!
Bren
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| My Best Days Are Ahead Of Me |
| 03.29.2010 14:29:50 | |
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Hi everybody! I just got back from an awesome weekend at the Vancouver show! Bikini, fitness, figure and bodybuilding athletes combined to make a great event. This particular show was a great experience for me in many ways. It was wonderful to see all the gorgeous physiques of the competitors onstage again, kicking off another great season of competitions. Of course, it was wonderful to see friends I haven't seen in a while, and to meet those I've only known online, like fellow blogger, Diane. By the way, Diane is even more beautiful in person! She just shines! Anyway, I came away with more than I had expected from this weekend, and it really didn't have much to do with bodybuilding. What I learned this weekend was more about self-confidence, the importance of friends, and letting go of the past. I know this blog is about bodybuilding, and my journey to the Ironman in October, but today I feel compelled to write about what I took away with me from the Vancouver show. So, you're probably wondering what I'm talking about. Well, to start with, I came away from the show with more self-confidence in myself. Many people commented on how much better I look since last year, which is always nice to hear. I'm thankful that people noticed and complimented me, however, the self confidence didn't come from people, it came from within me. I can't really explain it, but I felt good about myself, knowing that I've finally developed the discipline and dedication to the sport of bodybuilding, that I never could before. I've been going to shows for the last 10 years, helping out backstage, and have always admired the competitors. I wanted to be like them, to live the lifestyle, walk in their shoes so to speak, (especially those really cool hi-top Otomix shoes...lol) but I never thought I could really do it. Now, I'm actually doing it...I'm making my dream a reality! I want to give credit to fellow blogger, Julie Michaelson for helping me along my journey. Julie is an amazing woman! I feel fortunate to have spent some time getting to know her a little better this weekend. From the moment I read her blog, she has inspired me to be my best. She has helped me through more challenges than she'll ever know. When I feel like this lifestyle that I'm now living in is too tough, I think of her. Julie has 4 kids, a full time job, and has gone through some major life changes recently...yet she keeps on going. She doesn't give up. She has a mental toughness that I admire. That's what I think about when my life gets crazy....Julie and her perseverance. What I like most about her is the confidence she has in herself now. It's a genuine respect for herself. She seems to have found peace and contentment with herself. She looked happy on stage. It didn't matter as much to her where she placed in the line up of her figure class, but more importantly that she knew she did her best. She took control of her life and changed it for the better. Being on stage was her moment to shine. The icing on the cake. I'm so proud of her! She deserves to be happy! She's learning to let go of the past, and look forward to the future. I'm also learning to let go of the past and look forward to the future. This weekend brought up old hurts, seeing my ex at the show with someone else. Yes, it hurt a bit, but after getting some wise words from Dave, I realized I hadn't fully moved on since the ending of my relationship, and needed to let it go, once and for all. I need to move on if I want to become the strong, independent, self-confident woman I want to be. So, I cast it away, completely. I let go of the past, and I have to say it feels good! I left all my sadness about the ending of the relationship, right there in Vancouver. How can I be fully happy if I'm always living in the past? How can I actually live in this moment if I'm always thinking about things that have been? So, the Vancouver show will always be the place where I decided that I'm worth it, that I deserve to be happy. Next year at this time, I'll step onstage at the Vancouver show and celebrate my life! Thanks Dave, for sending me a wake up call, I got the message loud and clear...."it's time to move on, girl"! So, I didn't talk much about my training or how I'm feeling physically, but mentally I'm in a good place! I took a few days off training altogether, partly because of the show, partly to give my aching knees a rest, and partly to reflect on my life. I've come a long way since I was that chubby girl, (or FAT girl... let's call it like it is, as Dave would say) insecure, depressed and lonely. I have to say I'm amazed at how far I've come in a year. Last year at this time I was crying my eyes out each night, hating who I had become, and the direction my life was headed. Now, I'm a happier, more confident person. Like Julie, I took control over my life and made changes that were difficult at the time, but they have made such a difference in my life. I'm at peace with myself and am excited for what I will create for my future. It's possible to change our life for the better, at any age. I will be turning 47 the day of the best show in the NW...the Emerald Cup! I can't wait to spend my birthday watching my friends and bodybuilding family, struttin' their stuff onstage! Although I didn't have much to say about bodybuilding specifically, my changes in how I feel and how I view myself are directly related to bodybuilding. It's because of bodybuilding and eating healthy, that I have lost 67 pounds and counting. It's because of bodybuilding and eating healthy, my blood pressure and cholesterol are low, when they used to be dangerously high. It's because of bodybuilding and eating healthy, that I respect myself and know that I deserve the best in my life and it's because of bodybuilding and eating healthy, that I have made wonderful new friends. I'm so thankful for bodybuilding and eating healthy, it has completely changed my life. My best days are ahead of me! I want to give a shout out to a few fabulous people.... First, Kathy, you did an awesome job on your first bodybuilding competition! You were fantastic! Congrats on Masters Bodybuilding 1st place! :) I loved your routine. Now on to compete in the EC, and I know you'll bust your gluteus maximus, to bring it! Good job, Kathy! You go, girl! Dave...what can I say? You ROCKED THE HOUSE with an awesome routine! Very funny, great music and classic Dave moves. I didn't know you could move your hips like that after a hip replacement! Over 50 Masters, and you've still got it goin' on! :) Loved every bit of it! Julie, you found your cape and showed me where mine was. Thank you, I thought I'd lost mine. You lift me to new heights, can I fly with you sometime? I'm so thankful for your gift of writing. You're an inspiration to me through your words. You're beautiful, inside and out. Be proud of yourself and what you have accomplished...you've come a long way. There are GREAT things ahead for you! Elaine, you are one of the most positive people I know! Thank you for being so supportive and encouraging! You have a smile that lights up the gym, and your kind words always make me feel better about myself. There's no one I'd rather workout at midnight with :) I can hardly wait until the day of the Ironman! Thank you for letting me write about my dream to walk onstage! Think On It: Surround yourself with positive like-minded people and they will rub off on you! Who do you hang with? Positive people lift you up, negative people drag you down. Bren
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