CRAIG PRODUCTIONS LLC

So, you're probably wondering what I'm talking about. Well, to start with, I came away from the show with more self-confidence in myself. Many people commented on how much better I look since last year, which is always nice to hear. I'm thankful that people noticed and complimented me, however, the self confidence didn't come from people, it came from within me. I can't really explain it, but I felt good about myself, knowing that I've finally developed the discipline and dedication to the sport of bodybuilding, that I never could before. I've been going to shows for the last 10 years, helping out backstage, and have always admired the competitors. I wanted to be like them, to live the lifestyle, walk in their shoes so to speak, (especially those really cool hi-top Otomix shoes...lol) but I never thought I could really do it. Now, I'm actually doing it...I'm making my dream a reality!

I want to give credit to fellow blogger, Julie Michaelson for helping me along my journey. Julie is an amazing woman! I feel fortunate to have spent some time getting to know her a little better this weekend. From the moment I read her blog, she has inspired me to be my best. She has helped me through more challenges than she'll ever know. When I feel like this lifestyle that I'm now living in is too tough, I think of her. Julie has 4 kids, a full time job, and has gone through some major life changes recently...yet she keeps on going. She doesn't give up. She has a mental toughness that I admire. That's what I think about when my life gets crazy....Julie and her perseverance. What I like most about her is the confidence she has in herself now. It's a genuine respect for herself. She seems to have found peace and contentment with herself. She looked happy on stage. It didn't matter as much to her where she placed in the line up of her figure class, but more importantly that she knew she did her best. She took control of her life and changed it for the better. Being on stage was her moment to shine. The icing on the cake. I'm so proud of her! She deserves to be happy! She's learning to let go of the past, and look forward to the future.

I'm also learning to let go of the past and look forward to the future. This weekend brought up old hurts, seeing my ex at the show with someone else. Yes, it hurt a bit, but after getting some wise words from Dave, I realized I hadn't fully moved on since the ending of my relationship, and needed to let it go, once and for all. I need to move on if I want to become the strong, independent, self-confident woman I want to be. So, I cast it away, completely. I let go of the past, and I have to say it feels good! I left all my sadness about the ending of the relationship, right there in Vancouver. How can I be fully happy if I'm always living in the past? How can I actually live in this moment if I'm always thinking about things that have been? So, the Vancouver show will always be the place where I decided that I'm worth it, that I deserve to be happy. Next year at this time, I'll step onstage at the Vancouver show and celebrate my life! Thanks Dave, for sending me a wake up call, I got the message loud and clear...."it's time to move on, girl"!

So, I didn't talk much about my training or how I'm feeling physically, but mentally I'm in a good place! I took a few days off training altogether, partly because of the show, partly to give my aching knees a rest, and partly to reflect on my life. I've come a long way since I was that chubby girl, (or FAT girl... let's call it like it is, as Dave would say) insecure, depressed and lonely. I have to say I'm amazed at how far I've come in a year. Last year at this time I was crying my eyes out each night, hating who I had become, and the direction my life was headed. Now, I'm a happier, more confident person. Like Julie, I took control over my life and made changes that were difficult at the time, but they have made such a difference in my life. I'm at peace with myself and am excited for what I will create for my future. It's possible to change our life for the better, at any age. I will be turning 47 the day of the best show in the NW...the Emerald Cup! I can't wait to spend my birthday watching my friends and bodybuilding family, struttin' their stuff onstage!

Although I didn't have much to say about bodybuilding specifically, my changes in how I feel and how I view myself are directly related to bodybuilding. It's because of bodybuilding and eating healthy, that I have lost 67 pounds and counting. It's because of bodybuilding and eating healthy, my blood pressure and cholesterol are low, when they used to be dangerously high. It's because of bodybuilding and eating healthy, that I respect myself and know that I deserve the best in my life and it's because of bodybuilding and eating healthy, that I have made wonderful new friends. I'm so thankful for bodybuilding and eating healthy, it has completely changed my life. My best days are ahead of me!

I want to give a shout out to a few fabulous people....

First, Kathy, you did an awesome job on your first bodybuilding competition! You were fantastic! Congrats on Masters Bodybuilding 1st place! :) I loved your routine. Now on to compete in the EC, and I know you'll bust your gluteus maximus, to bring it! Good job, Kathy! You go, girl!

Dave...what can I say? You ROCKED THE HOUSE with an awesome routine! Very funny, great music and classic Dave moves. I didn't know you could move your hips like that after a hip replacement! Over 50 Masters, and you've still got it goin' on! :) Loved every bit of it!

Julie, you found your cape and showed me where mine was. Thank you, I thought I'd lost mine. You lift me to new heights, can I fly with you sometime? I'm so thankful for your gift of writing. You're an inspiration to me through your words. You're beautiful, inside and out. Be proud of yourself and what you have accomplished...you've come a long way. There are GREAT things ahead for you!

Elaine, you are one of the most positive people I know! Thank you for being so supportive and encouraging! You have a smile that lights up the gym, and your kind words always make me feel better about myself. There's no one I'd rather workout at midnight with :) I can hardly wait until the day of the Ironman! Thank you for letting me write about my dream to walk onstage!

Think On It:

Surround yourself with positive like-minded people and they will rub off on you! Who do you hang with? Positive people lift you up, negative people drag you down.

Bren